It Could Be Worse
by FHT3rdandCo
Summary: Kaitou KID was an experienced and talented thief that never broke poker-face... but as he narrowly avoided yet another wooden bucket he couldn't resist the inward complaint, 'what had he done to deserve this' .:Kaito-centric comedy:.


In many ways, it could have been worse

_((A/N: Why would I go out of my way to torment my current favorite bishonen? :3 Simple, I'm a sadist. Despite being in love with Gohan, I read many a 'torture Gohan fic' X3 lol._

…

_KYAAA!! Kaito-sama is the best!! XD So cool and smexy and cute and awesome and did I mention smexy?! –complete fangirl–_

_You guys are about ready to kill me for not updating my other fics, ne? -.-' Gomen! I'll get to it!!_

…_someday… -.-' don't hurt me!!_

_DISCLAIMER: Yes, I remembered to do one today! XD lol, I'm not a complete ditz, right? …don't answer that. Anywho, I own squat… well, actually I do own a original comic named 'It Could Be Worse' but that is so completely unrelated and irrelevant…_

…_it's on sale for 15 if you're interested X3 –shameless advertising-_

_Ah! Don't hurt me! I'll get to the actual disclaiming part! I swear! I don't own what Gosho-sama owns! Ha! I said it!_

_Muse-chan out!))_

* * *

**It Could Be Worse**

In many ways, it could have been worse.

The sky could fall, my house could burn down, a comet could strike earth killing millions, someone could rip off one of my arms… etc.

However, despite the billions of ways things could get 'a shit load worse', I couldn't resist the feeling that this was rock bottom.

Not many people have gone this close to rock bottom at least… but then again, to another person, with all their 'separate personalities' and 'different circumstances', this might not be _quite_ as dramatic for them.

I could resist a long heaving sigh, perhaps I should just make the best of my situation…?

…I twitched angrily and suddenly felt like hitting myself very hard for even _suggesting_ there was a 'bright side' to all of this.

So I was sulking.

Sulking was good, it meant I could ignore the going ons around me and forget that I was in this terrible, _terrible_ situation.

_Unfortunately_, I couldn't afford to break poker face by sulking in a corner. As amusing as my audience may have found it… there were many in my audience that were liable to maim me the moment I let my guard down.

Finally, as if time began to move again, everyone seemed to react to the situation at once.

I am so screwed…

"Kyaaaa!!" screams rang through the bathhouse as girls ducked under water, grappled for towels and hid behind random objects.

The KID task force, a few yards behind me, were torn between entering completely and running away as far as they could.

And me? I was avoiding the blunt and _painful_ objects being thrown at both me and the taskforce.

I was doing a good job of it too, right up until I bumped into one of the girls…

…one of the very _naked_ girls.

My face flushed a deep maroon and I attempted to get as far from her as possible.

Unfortunately, she grabbed my wrist. It was then I dared to glance at her(I'd been too terrified to earlier).

…oh dear god… of _all_ girls.

"Tousan!! I have him!" Aoko yelled viciously at her father, who looked as mortified as I felt.

Luckily(or unluckily, depending on how you looked at it), Aoko was one of the girls who'd managed to snag a towel… however, as it turned out, it was a completely soaked towel.

It didn't leave much to the imagination.

Poker face! Remember! Poker face!

I stopped my momentary gape and tried to wriggle my wrist free…

…_she wasn't letting go!_

For not the first time that night, I felt panic fill me. Especially when her very protective, and suddenly very _scary_ dad started storming over.

'_I. Am. So. Dead!_'

Deciding to cut my losses, I slid off my glove, efficiently losing her hold for a moment.

I repeat, a _moment_.

Moving faster than I thought possible for her she took hold of my entire arm this time.

It was horror that I felt in my gut when I noticed the soaked towel was slipping off because of the sudden movement.

One brief glance at her now frozen father and I knew I wasn't imagining it…

The only one that _didn't _seem to notice was Aoko.

This is very bad. Very, _very_ bad.

Now, if this were another night, I imagine I'd have the extra dress I usually pack with me _just in case_.

Why was today the _one_ day my mother has to confiscate all my female clothing for fear that I'm cross-dressing?!

Everything seemed to freeze when Aoko's towel finally began full decent and I had no choice…

…I dived into the bath, dragging her with me.

It wasn't one of my _brightest_ ideas ever, but it was the only thing I could think of.

I realized the folly of my ways once I heard the scream. The scream that told me there were still _girls_ in this bath.

I swear I was going to have a concussion if another bucket hit my head.

And Aoko _still_ wasn't letting go of my arm!

I felt someone grab my collar and pull me out of the water and found myself face to face with a _very_ annoyed looking detective.

My night _could_ get worse, I realized.

The boy was twitching a little and I realized it was taking all his self control not to murder me in the most brutal methods possible.

It occurred to me to wonder what he was even doing here but I decided it didn't matter as I tried to escape by sacrificing my cape. I was about to make a run for _any corner of the room that did not currently have a homicidal detective_ but I found two problems with this plan.

One, there appeared to be two more homicidal looking detectives in the room. Two, Aoko was _**still**_ latched onto my arm.

Can this get worse?

Kudo managed to get the soaking cape off of him and glared at me as if attempting to freeze hell over. I was almost tempted to try and explain myself, explain that this was all a _huge_ and _horrible_ misunderstanding… but I didn't think he was in a listening mood. Nor were his friend from Osaka, Nakamori-keibu, and 'sleeping Kogouro' apparently, because they were all storming over with murderous looking intents.

It was then I realized this all probably had to do with the bath I'd chosen to jump into. If I was right…

Yes, as my horrible, awful, pathetic excuse for luck would have it, there was Mouri Ran, Suzuki Sonoko and Toyama Kazuha.

There were more problems with this then just the fact that they all had big scary friends that wouldn't mind at all if I was brutally maimed. The other problem was I knew what the girls _themselves_ were capable of.

Oh dear lord, I need to get out of here _now_!

--

It had been a very, _very_ long night. One that I don't wish to repeat _ever_.

After finding that I was in the same bath as a karate champion and a violent hotheaded girl that took aikido, I'd promptly fled, taking the nude Aoko with me.

I had only been concentrating on the homicidal detectives, KID taskforce, and scary girls though and had forgotten entirely to put the _other_ scary girls into my calculations. Meaning, yes, I was facing all my other enemies but I had my back to the rest of the girls in the bathhouse.

To say they took advantage of it would be an understatement.

After I(FINALLY) managed to escape their wrath, Aoko was still in my arms and still very, very naked. Luckily I'd found a towel shortly after this realization but then I'd tripped on a rock.

How it got into a bathhouse? I'm too upset about the entire thing to _want_ to find out.

In the end I'd landed on top of the nude girl and the shock had been just enough for her to _let go_. I'd been so happy, so elated to escape…

Only to realize I'd forgotten to keep my eye on the detective from Osaka…

…oh the _pain_…

…and he claims he _doesn't_ like Kazuha…

After I escaped his wrath, I was face to face with the Mouri girl.

She'd sent me flying through a wall.

Which, as luck would have it, enabled me to make a break for it.

I nearly cried when I finally reached home, I was so very happy… oh my sweet bed… how I long for you… I just want to get some sleep and forget this _ever_ happened.

…and then my mother was waiting for me to come home and gave me the longest lecture I have _ever_ heard.

The best part? It was _completely_ about this evening's little 'scandal'.

Sure, I know my life could be much, _much_ worse… but at the moment? I didn't think there was anything else that could _possibly_ make this abysmal situation worse.

After mom had finally let me go to bed(after four hours mind you), I crashed onto my bed… sweet, blissful relaxation… there was nothing that could go terribly wrong while in my own room.

I reached for my covers and was startled to find the material had changed. This was when I finally decided to open my eyes and look about.

"F…-fi-fis-fi-fish!!" no, no, no, no, no!! This _cannot _be happening!!

There are fish _everywhere_! Fish plushies, fish wallpaper, fish blankets…

"_AAAAAAAH!!_"

Okay, so it can _always_ get worse.

* * *

_((Ending Notes: Oh, if I only had a brain—huh? You guys are still here?_

_:3 This be my first Detective Conan fic(that I've posted) so I'm a lil nervous about it but I think it turned out okay :) (the end was a lil awkward sounding though…)_

_Ack, I had the worst time at the bookstore the other day; I see Detective Conan, squeal and run towards it… while flipping through the pages briefly something caught my eye…_

_Jimmy?! Jimmy Kudo?! What the hell?! They didn't even change his last name and I doubt they could make it take place in anywhere but Japan, so what the hell was the point in renaming him Jimmy!?_

_I swear I get homicidal just thinking about it._

_That wasn't the breaking point though, after awhile I reasoned that it should still be an okay read, after all, Shinichi is called Conan more than anything else…_

…_and then I ran into Rachal and Richard._

_Someone just kill me now! That would be more merciful!_

_So I couldn't buy myself my DC goodness… I just couldn't… I'm hoping someday they'll do a reprint with the correct names, if not I'll never be able to work up the guts to add it to my manga collection!! T.T!_

…_I think Harly was really what made it completely impossible to even consider ever. (hardcore Heiji fangirl)_

_-Muse-chan hyperactive and sugar high.))_


End file.
